Red Leopard

This is a rework of a previous speech. I delivered this talk for today’s Early Risers Toastmasters club speech contest. I changed the middle by replacing the work context with a general life context.

My evaluator pointed out one area of needed improvement: I should relate the closing to my own life. I agree with her. Of course, I’ll have to trim something out of the middle or talk faster to stay within the time limit.

A pig and a chicken are walking down the road when they come upon a church where a revival is going on.

And they went inside.

Any of you been to a revival? It’s been a long time for me. Not since I was little bitty and my Grandmother would take me.

Pig and chicken were moved, overcome by the spirit.

Pig says, "I want to contribute something."

"Me, too!", says Chicken. "Me, too! Let’s contribute some ham and eggs".

"That’s fine for you", says pig. "For you, it’s just a contribution. But for me, IT’S A COMMITMENT!"

People fear commitment no less than that pig. Ohhh, god! They fear it like death itself.

I asked myself, Why’s that?

I’ll tell you why! ‘Cause people are not like pig here.

Noooo. People are basically weasels.

Consider all the people you know who spend time & energy justifying a long trail of broken commitments.

They have elaborate stories, worthy of novels – complete with intricate plots and subplots within subplots, filled with nefarious characters…

But all their stories boil down to little more than "The dog ate my homework".

They are victims of a homework eating dog. Victims of circumstance.

Here’s the irony of it…

We avoid commitment which leads us to be victims of circumstance.

But, as it turns out, power over circumstance lives inside commitment which we avoid.

If power over circumstance lives inside commitment, where does commitment live?

Well, it doesn’t live in your head. That’s where the weasel lives.

You know. The inner voice. The one that talks you OUT of sticking with your commitments.

{sigh}

The good new is that commitment lives.

It lives ‘out there’.

Commitment is nothing more than living up to the agreements you make with someone else.

It’s that simple.

Simple but not easy.

See, agreement is made between two people.

You. And someone else.

People, remember, are basically weasels.

You ever see a weasel? They are nasty!

When you grab a weasel and they bite, scratch, squirm and spit something awful.

But no one said it was easy.

In the words of the late Dr. King,

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

Here’s a man who knew challenge and controversy.

And he understood the power over circumstance that lives in commitment.

He was committed that all men, women and children, both alive and yet to be born, would enjoy the same rights, liberties and opportunities.

His commitment to millions of Americans.

And there were people who confronted him in both challenge and controversy.

And he stood firm.

Here’s a tip to help you stand firm inside your commitment.

Something that works for me.

Choose out five or six people who inspire you.

Learn about them, their lives, the challenges and controversies they faced.

In the dark moments of weakness, call upon them.

Bring their living memories to stand beside you.

Draw upon their inspiration to give you strength, and courage, and resolve.

And take claim to power over circumstance in your life.

This is a must read. Title is ‘The Luxury of Ignorance: An Open-Source Horror Story’

http://www.catb.org/~esr/writings/cups-horror.html

I tried to use CUPS from my Mac. Crikey! I don’t know HOW it happened but I can now print to my laser printer over ethernet. Of course, it has one of those [not supported on OS X] ethernet dongle thingies from NetGear.

But I can now print And it wasn’t CUPS either. I really don’t know if I’m printing through CUPS or over AppleTalk. Of course, I can’t print from ALL applications. Office-yes. PDF-yes(slow). Illustrator/Photoshop-no.

The fact that I can’t understand what the heck is going on means I can’t fix it.

What this guy didn’t say, and I mean this with all the conviction of Morpheus, the failure of Open Source to enter the mainstream (much less world domination) is a direct consequence of the movements anti-marketing mindset. Maybe I’ll bring this topic up at the local Linux User’s Group. ‘OSS sucks because it needs marketing’.

Better make sure I do that after free pizza. 🙂

But this anti-marketing bias (and subsequent chaos) is not limited to the OSS crowd.

Consider the response I got from Market Circle on the public mailing list.

I asked them to open up their marketing contact for customer feedback. Some months later, the issue came up again (on the list) and I commented that the only voice Market Circle had was technical support and doubted a marketing department existed.

It was in a thread in which I advised a Zen approach of lowering one’s expectations until the product did what you expected. OK. So, I was snarky. But I’ve paid my money. I bought the software. All I wanted was a marketing contact to hear my voice. This is their reply.

In terms of Marketing, even with the minimal
marketing that we do, people have built up
unrealistic expectations. What would happen
if we turned on the hyperbole?

Speaks Volumes.

Market Circle’s product (DayLite, available for OS X) is conceptually great. A contact manager built around relationships. The implementation is appalling.

Consider this (proud) solution proffered by tech support (de facto marketing).

Customer One: Another problem I have is the apparent inability to link a note from a contact to a related organization so it can be see there.

Tech Support: It is possible to link a note which is already linked to a Contact to a related Organization so it can be seen there.

• Create a note for a Contact.
• Type info in the subject and details.
• Click on the gear pop-up button in the Notes tab.
• Select Link Note from the list.
• The Linking objects to Note sheet will appear.
• Click on the Organizations radio button.
• Search for an Organization you would like to link the Note to as well.
• Select the Organization from the list.
• Click on the ‘+’ button.
• The Organization will now appear in the Link list.
• Click on the Link button.
• Close the Contact card.
• Go to the Organization list and open the Organization card.
• Look at the Organizations notes.. you will now see the note you linked viewable in the Organizations notes.

Customer Two: ….Which is 14 steps !!

This is not atypical. Fourteen non-obvious steps. The product, as defined and developed, is a real bear to use. Let me back up. It is easy to use as a simple replacement for Address Book. It is a bear to use as a customer relationship tool. I’ve been stopped cold on several occassions trying to use DayLite in a way consistent with the features/benefits presented in promotional material.

I will commend the support staff. They honestly respond with ‘DayLite doesn’t do that’.

It’s not that the support staff is bad. They are pretty good software guys. But they just don’t *get* it. Sometimes I get the feeling that Market Circle feels we [Mac OS X] customers are damn lucky to have them write software for us. And that is a MARKETING problem.

What bothers me is the increasingly defensive tone out of Market Circle. Here is the BIG argument for marketing.

Absence a marketing department, the usual tension that exists between development and marketing, now exists between development and customers.

Consider this little gem published to the customer mailing list:

For instance, we cannot add a feature because 5 or 6 vocal people ask for it. Some of these things take a lot of time to develop.

Because one of our features is not as deep as you like it, doesn’t mean that we aren’t listening or that we have no clue in terms of ‘product development’. (I’ve been doing software development for over 14 years – I know how to get stuff done within budget constraints)

Just two months earlier, I wrote that I’d like to see more marketing at Market Circle.

Good marketing (operative word, ‘good’) puts together a whole product beyond that of the application. Whereas the support team helps customers with the product, marketing helps customers with the product collateral (including dealing with the company).

Marketing manages customer expectations. I truly don’t expect I’ll get everything I’m wishing for in DayLite. I don’t need to as long as I can get my work done and no other better alternative emerges. In this regards, another ‘heavily technical’ company that gets good marks is OmniGroup. Marketcircle gets better marks in support. OmniGroup gets better marks in marketing. In my book.

The irony is, OmniGroup didn’t get higher support marks because I didn’t need support for their products (OmniWeb, OmniGraffle, OmniOutliner). I’ve had chance/need to contact OmniGroup since and they rate world class.

As Market Circle’s marketing image sinks lower in my eyes (as I continue to lower my expectations), so does their support image.

I’m hoping Microsoft’s upcoming Office 2004 for OS X can fill the gap. People gripe about Bill but, hey, Microsoft is a marketing machine. I’m starting to raise my expectations.

A pig and a chicken are walking down the road when they come upon a church where a revival is going on.

{gesture towards audience} Any of you been to a revival? It’s been a while for me. Let me tell you, a revival is MOVING.

Pig and chicken were moved, overcome by the spirit.

Pig says, "I want to contribute something."

"Me, too!", says Chicken. "Me, too! Let’s contribute some ham and eggs".

{Look shocked} "That’s fine for you", says pig. "For you, it’s just a contribution. But for me, IT’S A COMMITMENT!"

{pause} People fear commitment no less than that pig. Ohhh, god! They fear it like death itself. But why?

{snort} Let’s look at a typical company meeting. The cast of characters wander into the room, coffee in hand and {squat slightly} settle into their chairs for a two hour Buddha-fest.

{matter of factly} You know what a Buddha-fest is? It’s where you clear your mind of all thoughts, tune out the meeting and drift through time and space {louder, measured} because the inane drivel of the meeting would drive you NUTS.

Suddenly, you are snapped out of your trance.

"Look!", some faceless company robot screams. {shrilly} "I need someone to finish these TPS reports by Friday!". "Someone!"

And the rest of the meeting is all about avoiding that Friday commitment.

See, people see commitment as a trap, it hems them in, leaves them no wiggle room. And they desperately want wiggle room.

Cause when this Friday thing goes south…

{deepen voice, slow gesture with left hand} And these things Always go south.

…someone’s going to be hung out to dry! And you don’t want it to be you!

So no one really makes a commitment, Friday comes and some poor bastard is tapped as the fall guy. Victim of circumstance. Wrong place. Wrong time.

Some people ‘learn to play the game’ and become adept at {draw out speech, widen hands horizontally} maximizing the wiggle room {widen hands vertically} and utilizing it to its fullest.

We call these people {slowly, like Andy Griffith} weasels.

Weasels!

God, I worked at a place, looked like a WEASEL FARM. People ran amok!

The irony of it… We avoid commitment at all costs which leads to our being victims of circumstance but, as it turns out, power over circumstance lives inside commitments which we avoid at all costs.

Hold that thought for a moment.

If power over circumstance lives inside commitment, where does commitment live?

I once thought we each held commitment inside ourselves. Commitment to a faith, to ethics, to goals. Not true! Consider that commitment is one person agreeing to do cause an effect for another person.

If I directed all commitments internally, like "change my car oil every 3,000 miles", I’d spend my entire day talking to myself. And what do we say about people that constantly talk to themselves? Their CRAZY.

Besides, I look down and see it’s been 7,000 miles and somehow, I turn a blind eye. "Well, oil is better than it used to be, coffee was late this morning, the oil change shop changed owners…" And you let yourself weasel out.

Now you’re crazy AND a weasel. We call that, ‘neurotic’.

{sigh}

No, commitment lives ‘out there’. In that company meeting room. When that guy came looking for a commitment, don’t duck and weave. Stand firm and say "Yeah. I’ll do it".

But don’t stop there. You’ve chosen to stand inside your commitment with no wiggle room but you still have to reach out and take the power that’s there. Reach out and grab that weasel who came searching for commitment and squeeze the wiggle out of him.

That’s called negotiation. Don’t close the negotiations until you and he both stand in the agreement with no wiggle lift. Eye to eye. Mind to mind. In that moment, you will have claimed power over circumstance.

Don’t get me wrong. It ain’t as easy as it sounds.

You ever see a weasel? They are nasty! Grab a weasel and they bite, scratch writhe, squirm and spit. But no one said it would be easy.

In the words of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

Here’s a man who knew challenge and controversy. And he understood the power over circumstance that lives in commitment. He was committed that all men, women and children, both alive and yet to be born, would enjoy the same rights, liberties and opportunities. His commitment to millions of Americans. And there were people who confronted him in both challenge and controversy.

That Friday TPS report pales.

Yet, when you choose to be a weasel no longer, choose to stand inside your commitments and live without wiggle, you will quickly find that {solemnly} you are alone.

That weasel you grab will scream horribly while the other weasels will not come to your aid.

You will feel a ball tighten in your abdomen and the taste of brass fill your mouth. But here’s a tip. Something that works for me.

Choose out five or six people who inspire you. Learn about them, their lives and those challenges and controversies they faced. I call them, ‘the great ones’.

Then, in the dark moments of negotiating through the fear-driven shrieking fury of a weasel, call upon the great ones. Stand not alone, but bring the living memories of the great ones to stand shoulder-to-shoulder beside you. Draw upon their inspiration to give you strength, and courage, and resolve to stand inside your commitment and see it through. And take claim to the power over circumstance in your life.

###

I got a message from Dan last week asking about favicons. See, we both are on Mac OS X. It seems anything that comes from the Windows word requires an extra level of understanding when it’s in the Mac world.

After a bit of googling, I found the no non-sense answers I needed.

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I said it last year, “This is my last COMDEX for COMDEX is dead” Yet, I went again. Just to see.

It’s true. Last year was the death of COMDEX. This year was the ‘viewing’. All that’s left is to toss dirt in the grave.

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I read a fair amount. I wouldn’t say a lot only because I don’t really read that fast. Well, that’s not true. Fictional and biographical works I cruise through fairly quickly. It’s non-fiction that slows me to a crawl.

It was a decade ago that I realized the obvious. Just because you start reading a book doesn’t mean you have to finish it. I can still remember the book that broke the spell: The Vermont Papers

If I’m reading a book for my own enjoyment and edification, if I can’t relate the book to my life, if I’m getting nothing out of the book, it’s history. Ciao, baby. The Vermont Papers was my last "I’ll finish the book simply because I started it" experience. When I finished that book, I said, "What a waste of my time."

Currently, I’m reading Battle for the Mind. This book I will finish and read again.

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